Radical love, a beginning
I sat there listening to the senior pastor of my wife’s church. I was scribbling notes, determined to find inconsistency and inaccuracy in his words. You see, just months before this moment I didn’t have any reason to worry. My wife knew I was an atheist, and I knew she was upset with the church. That all changed when she started to attend church again. She had received a letter in the mail. It was an invitation to speak with the former senior pastor and an elder in the church. The meeting was enough to get her to return to church the next Sunday. That was the moment my life would change. I was about to encounter the radical love of Jesus.
I didn’t have any reason to go to church, except of course to save her from drinking the “wine”. They were brainwashing her… I just needed to figure out how. I scribbled note after note, looking for things to tear apart. Growing up, I had read the Old Testament time and time again. My father was determined to “save me” by forcing me to read the Bible when I was in trouble. The problem with that, was I would usually give up well before I got to the New Testament. The first time I heard anyone proclaim Jesus as the Son of God was in my late twenties. My father made Jesus out to be another prophet or a wise teacher. It was enough of a challenge that I needed to change my method. Sitting in the pews was not enough, I needed to get deep.
From Atheist to Disciple
I was an atheist in a Bible study. Something had to give, I was either going to change my wife’s mind, or she was going to change mine. Here’s where the Radical Love of Jesus tends to meet us. My wife was on the verge of leaving me, nothing I was trying was working, and I was stuck in sin patterns that started in my youth and were only getting worse. I needed to hit rock-bottom before I was humble enough to see Jesus. I spent weeks combing through my Bible and looking for lies. Something had to change, I just wasn’t expecting it to be my heart. Jesus had to reach me. And He did, in the most unexpected way. Week after week I heard the invitation to come to the front and accept Jesus’ invitation to “follow me”.
That Sunday, as I listened to the words about the overwhelming, never ending, love of God, something in me softened. I wept before the Lord as I begged Him to forgive me. He had to know how sorry I was for being so hateful toward Him and His followers. I needed to be forgiven for my unbelief and the sin in my life. Before I knew it, my feet had carried me down front and into the “next-steps” area. After a short conversation about what becoming a follower of Christ looks like, I was on my way to baptism.
The Next Steps
On February 2, 2020 I made the best decision of my life and everything changed forever. Over the next 5 years, Jesus would radically change my life. I have surrendered to a power that is beyond worthy of my obedience. There’s no end to the love He lavishes on me and my family. Once in a while we are given second chances. I thank God every day for the second chances he has given me. Specifically the chance to use my story to impact others. Even if only only a handful of readers find this blog, I believe there is a purpose to my testimony.
My hope is that over the coming year we will embark on a journey together. Through writing I aim to encourage you to become a disciple of Christ. In posts to come you will learn more of my story, but for now here’s some encouragement. Psalms 103:8-11 says: The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. Do you know how high the heavens are above the earth? For some perspective, the sun, our closest star is 93 million miles away. And that’s only the beginning of Jesus’ radical love.